In lack of your deadened unhappiness.

In front of the yellowed photograph of our fled memories.  I remain in lack of your deadened unhappiness. In the dream of this past which I cannot erase. I wander after the glare of our lives. In fight against these mornings which give birth to our lapses of memory. Leaving my memory alone vis-a-vis wear, the madness. Your absence is there. Leaving me only that. To recall me of you. Without ground, nor shovel to fill this infinite vacuum. I lose the faith. In us, me. Killing this lie to make future a truth. Where we could find ourselves. I do not want to imagine any more. To manufacture a copy of the past. To make as if it were true. Of a lie invented to advance. I cannot derive any more. Acceptor more to cross you. More to hear you. Little by little, I leave the meanders. Days spent to confuse the life, death. Seeking to link them in this impossible marriage. Who made ego a fossil. I you want some to have given up me. Drawing from this false hatred the force to raise me. Cheating with my feelings. Our feelings. I advance slowly. With the desire for turning over me. Precipitately. With the first noises of the past. Furiously. With the soft images of our old years. Because I cannot deny it. To have loved you to burst some. However, I am there upright. Without you. With knees in front of this hole. Where there is nothing any more but mud. Who goes up until me. Coming to cover the photograph yellowed with our fled memories. In the silence of the lapse of memory. I remain in lack of your deadened unhappiness.